FUN FROM SHARON

Hi Ladies, I don't know if you were aware that our Sharon Phillips had to have knee surgery and is currently on the mend. She has some wonderful friends that are doing their best to cheer her up and she has kindly shared this cheer with us. Hope you enjoy them. Thanks, Sharon! Mind your doc so you can be back golfing with us soon!

Golfers Are Wonderful People

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses with a heart attack!
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you.
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

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A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."

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A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?" The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but when we pray in my church, we keep our head down."

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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know -- five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a five."

UINTA GOLF LADIES DAY

Hi Ladies, The board has received an email from Uinta Golf announcing their Ladies Day Event to be held on April 20, 2011. This email has been forwarded to everyone via email. Please pass this message on to your friends who don't have email.

Thanks to Uinta for the special invite!

BEST ON EVEN HOLES

We had 31 brave souls come out and brave the gale force winds! What a dedicated bunch! Congrats to the winners.

PS: Click on the picture to see a bigger view...

WARNING TO ALL WOMEN!

This was sent by one of our league members because she cares about us!

IMPORTANT MESSAGE
> You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.
>
> My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
> I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
> Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
> And then the thieves struck again...
>
> My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.
>
> Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to Me next?
>
> When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and Me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', Look again - was it lifted from you?
>
> THIS IS NOT A HOAX - This is happening to women everywhere every night.
>
> WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
>
> P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone!
>
> But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
>
> I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on.
>
> Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart.
>
> Always remember to Laugh!!
>
> Helps the heart AND the wrinkles!!
>
> P.P.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes !
>
> How do they do that????

Thanks for caring, Susan!